I’m noticing that I’m feeling even better than before…
Recently I’ve had two coaching sessions that have hit me fair and square in my childhood.
Let me explain. My childhood was pretty good. But in moving from the country back to the big smoke of Melbourne as a 6yo, I blamed my dad. BIG TIME.
I lost my friends and found it very hard to make more.
I remember telling my dad that I hated him for it. I remember telling him with all of the intensity of a scared 6 yo. With passion.
I’ve held that shame for a really really long time. I apologised to dad publicly at his 50th birthday and as dad was, he was totally cool about it.
For a while, I thought that was it. Dealt with.
But. It wasn’t.
I’d asked for and received the forgiveness from dad for the decision he’d needed to make for his family… but there was one person that I had never thought needed, actually deserved, the same forgiveness… me.
I let go of the last of that shame a few weeks ago, with tears and a whole lot of relief… a weight literally gone from my heart.
I didn’t notice the difference immediately, just the images of things about dad that 6yo me loved about him – his pinky finger that I held on to when we walked together, his favorite red and blue check winter jacket…